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Dear Dexter season 4 finale,
THANKS FOR BLOWING MY GODDAMN MIND.
I’m 99.999% sure that i’m going to develop a series of tics from withdrawals until next season starts.
Love,
me
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Dear Cousin and Boyfriend’s presents,
So yes, I purchased you from an ebay seller with a name that makes me think I’m more likely to see you
a)on the counter in the background of a nice conversation with with Chris Hansen
or
b)being elaborately defaced in a ‘casual encounters’ Craigslist.com post
than in my mailbox but if you don’t come soon you’re going to ruin my Christmas. Do you really want to be that guy?
Thanks,
Me
PS: Santa is watching.
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Dear powder,
You are so silly!! You go on my face not my hair!
BABY powder goes in my hair. And that’s only on hangover days.
Oh-ho-ho you make me laugh sometimes.
Love,
Me
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Dear Orange Juice,
Why are you so delicious? I need to know. Because whatever it is. I wanna put it in me. And not in the orange juice in my mouth kinda way. You know what I mean baby.
Now give it to mama.
Love,
Me
